SPH # 27: Half

still holding on after 20 months

he is my half ... the one who completes me ...

J is someone who inspires me to be a better person ... to be a better me. He will always be the half to my whole and the yin to my yang.

thank god its Friday!

quick, fun 50 minute date with J
meeting Joel, Laine's better half

feel ko lang ...

I like this shot!

B showing off his manly toys. LOL!

Thank GOD it's Friday ... have a great weekend!

worrying gets you nowhere

I'm a worry wart. I am a certified worry wart. I love to worry, well, not love. I am just so used to worrying about everything that I worry even when there is nothing to worry about. I just do. It's like waking up and breathing for me. I worry. It's my thing.

I worry about things and people and it kills them. I worry about my friends, my work, my family, B, J, and the world. Hell, I worry about nothing, I mean, literally nothing.

J hates it. He tells me to ease up on worrying coz I end up dissecting every single thing and putting meaning to things that really have no meaning. Or worse, creating situations that don't really have underlying tones but I try to find one and won't be satisfied until I create something out of nothing. It drives him crazy and it makes me nuts.

So I wanna stop ... I really do ... but I worry that I can't stop worrying about worrying and that worries me.

See? *toinks self*

mother's day 2010

It was a very simple celebration ... we went walking around Binondo (which will be another blog post altogether) and ate at home. It was simple but I liked it. I was with my son and that's what mattered the most. J also posted a really sweet message on my FB wall which made me go awww ... above is the picture we had that day and a shot of the flowers we got my Mom.

and the real game begins

The 2010 elections are now officially closed and the counting has begun. Some lives have already been sacrificed and I am thankful that my family and friends are all safe and acounted for. I have been praying throughout the day that my family and friends will be safe and I am happy that they are. However, it is still saddening that simply because of greed for money and power, there are people who would kill and hurt just to get it.

I pray for the Philippines, for this country whom a lot of people despise and find hopeless. I pray for my country that the new leader will be someone who will bring good changes to our country.

I pray for us.

happy 20th!

after watching Iron Man 2

goofing around ...

showing off his henna tattoo and support for G1BO!

where we ate ...

Today marks our 20th month together ... I am so happy that we were able to withstand so many test that have come our way ... as I said earlier, so long as we both want this to work, it will. MWAH!

SPH # 26: Mother

my Mom and I

This is not going to be a different take on the theme ... this time, I am giving honor once again to the person who has made me who I am today.

Mommy,

We have not been seeing eye to eye on a lot of things since the Chinese New Year came in. There are days when we seem to be doing okay and days when we could hardly stand the sight of each other. We have said hurtful words we can never take back and have damaged what we had maybe to a point when we will no longer be able to go back to what we were before.

I am able to accept that now. Still ...I wish to thank you for the following things:

1. 
   
   teaching me strength when facing adversaries ... in the past, you have always told me that I can recover from any downfall I may go through (suicide attempts, peer pressure, depression, getting beaten up, and the like) and I have because you were always there for me ... now that you have let go as you said, I need to gather my strength from my son and myself ... thank you for teaching me that I can ...
2. 
   
   teaching me that money is important but it is not the end all and be all of things


3. 
   
   that it is okay to say sorry and let go of pride


4. 
   
   that I am worthy of being loved ... and that what I think of myself at the end of the day is what matters ...

It's funny how life works My. I learned to really value all these lessons when it was you I was learning it from ... when you became my adversary ... but at least I learned it. So thank you still. And though we may not see eye to eye anymore ... know that I will always love you. No matter what.

Happy Mothers Day.

voting wisely

In just a few days, the nation will be voting a new president and this president can either make our country better ... or it can drag us to the pits of hell where there will be no more chances of recovery for our ailing country.

I pray that everyone who can vote will vote. The thinking that your vote will not count is not right. EVERY VOTE COUNTS. It does. If all of us will think that it won't count, then there really won't be any votes that can be counted.

Please vote ... and vote wisely ... do not vote for someone because the survey they are a sure win ... nor because the jingle is causing LSS ... vote for the one who will make a good difference in the country ... someone who truly cares ... someone who can make things right.

This is all I ask ... VOTE ... make it count ... because it does count.

a lady in waiting

Need to practice more but I kinda like these shots ...

portraiture ...

I'm trying out my photography skills once more ... its high time I make use of what I mastered in college ...

munimuni # 47

This week has been a bit of revelation ... I let go and let God. I am glad that I did ... I feel so much lighter now and more at peace. Of course the constant demons still haunt me but I now do my best to tell them ...

"I shall not harbour unpleasant thoughts!"

It works most of the time but there are moments I lose to it but slowly, I know I will get there ....

Thank you Lord ... for positivity.

eat pray love

I saw the trailer of this movie and fell in love with it. I saw the book and bought it. I am now on Chapter 65 and I love it. It is all about self discovery and I can relate to Liz in so many ways. It's like her thoughts are mine though there are differences but the similarities are quite unnerving.

This is fast becoming my number one favorite book. It's like I can read it again and again and not be bored with it. I think that if I read it when I am done, I will discover new things about it that I may have missed the first time around.

To those who wishes to discover themselves, this is the book for you.

colorful moments with B

look at the hair ... the hair! LOL ...

I had a lot of bonding moments with B yesterday ... he spent the day coloring and I spent it beside him cross stitching and watching movies, one after the other. I didn't join my family in going out because I just wanted to stay at home with B and I don't regret it. I had fun though of course the moments where I wanna throw B out the window was there too. LOL. He can be really pernisckety when he wants to be but I love him.

And my hair? I look like a peacock. LOL.

full trust

I spoke to someone today whom I respect and asked for advice and she told me, "Trust him Kay. Full trust." These words reverberated in my mind again and again and I realized that I really should do what she said.

In the past, I was able to do this without a second thought. It was just due to the ex who hurt me over and over again and cheated on me again and again that I learned not to trust entirely. Still, I've been with J for almost 20 months and not trusting him fully has not gotten me anywhere good.

I think I really should give this whole trusting thing a chance. He's worth it. I know he is.

So to you J, though you do not read this ... I am trusting you with the most important thing I have ... my heart. Please don't shatter it ... for you will shatter me.

It's scary .. so scary ... but I believe that it will be worth it ... it has to be ...

SPH # 25: Black

The theme for today is BLACK and I did not want to go the usual route of looking for black items so I thought, why not shoot myself in a black mood, black cloth, and black background. Voila, here it is. Apparently, I look fugly when I am in a black mood so from now on, I will try to be more positive about everything. It's time I shift from being negative to positive. Everyone sure can benefit from a cheerful me instead of a BLACK me.

Happy hunting!