It's been a while since this happened to me. It's been a year actually. The last time I felt my heart flutter was over a year ago and it was quite shocking ... to feel that small fluttering ... that small awakening.
Should I run? Should I hide? Should I stop all communications and block this person?
These were the first thoughts that went into my head soon as I felt that little movement. After all, I have gotten used to being on my own. I have gotten used to not answering to anyone except my Mom. I have gotten used to being alone and not being part of a duo.
Would I be okay if there's someone in my life? Am I ready? Should I go for it? Is it worth it?
I do not know the answers to this. What I do know is that when he looked at me, I felt giddy. When he stared, I felt like one of those girls in a romantic movie scene. When he held my hand, I had to exert all effort to take it away because it wasn't right ... it wasn't time.
I do not know what the future holds with this guy ... all I know is that tonight ... after a year of being silent ... my heart fluttered.