I don’t think I can ever be unfaithful to someone I love. I don’t see myself committing this act to someone I still have feelings for or I have feelings for. It’s just not me. It’s just not in me to do it.
Maybe this is why when this was done to me, it shattered my world and until now, I am left picking up the pieces. The last time someone betrayed me this badly was almost a year ago. The person who did that said that he thinks he has already made up for it, that we were quits.
I still feel hurt when I remember it. I still feel crushed when I remember the events that transpired. I still am shattered by it. No, we are not quits yet. No, we are not even. No, you have not made up for it. Trust is something that is so hard to build again, and less than a year is not enough time to build back something you just broke over something so superficial.
So why do I stay? Why do I let it go on? Simple really … it is because I love. And it is because of this love that eventually, I will be able to completely move on. Not now, not yet, but soon. I just need more time. I need more proof. I need more reassurance.
I hope it will be given. I hope it will be given without hesitation, without drama, without fights. And if not, if you are unable to, then please, the door is wide open - - just close the door gently when you leave and break me for the last time.