From PostSecret. This is how I feel about my failed relationship. This is what I realized. I deserve much better. Much much better.
Over the weekend, I ended an almost 4 year relationship. It hurt. It hurt so much. Have I been able to shed a tear. Here and there. Have I cried my heart out and really really bawled? No. I do not know why. I have a 3 year old son from that relationship who was also sick so I did not have time to mull things over. I cannot breakdown.
Ending this relationship was hard because there were a lot of people involved. Ending it hurt because I have never loved anyone as much as I loved him. But I needed to end it. I had to end it.
Do I regret it? No, simply because I have B now. Do I wish to go back? No. I know now that he gave me the love I thought I deserved then. I realized that it wasn't enough, for anyone. When you are in a relationship, you need to be at your best. Your partner should be able to bring it out of you. If he makes you feel that you are lucky that ha paid you attention, that is not a healthy relationship. If you are not part of his priority list, then that is not a healthy relationship. If he has extra marital affairs and introduces you to the other woman, that is not a healthy relationship. If you are second only to a car or his friends, that is not a healthy relationship. If he hits you occasionally, that is not a healthy relationship. And if he does not know how to exert effort to get you back since he is used to getting everything, that is not a healthy relationship.
I should know. I just got out of one.