wishing, hoping, praying, and loving

I am wishing and hoping that the medical results on Thursday will be good and that I will be given a clean bill of health though I seriously doubt it since I failed the stress test like no one else has failed it. Still ... it couldn't hurt to wish and hope right?

This Thursday, I am also praying for Mark. It's been 2 years now Mark ... two years since you left us here and a lot of things has happened. We have drifted apart from your family and as much as I want to check on your sister and your Mom ... I feel that I am no longer in the position to do so. Too much has happened and I feel like the bridge between us and them has burned to the ground and all I can do is look at them from a distance and content myself with it. I miss you so much Mark. I miss hugging you and your silliness. I hope you are happy wherever you are. Watch over me okay? I need an angel from heaven from time to time especially when I'm spiraling downwards. You know how I can be at times.

And this Thursday, I am loving. I am loving.

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