someday

This post is a tribute to the men whose lives were once intertwined with mine.

Someday, someone's gonna love you the way you wanted me to love you. Someday, you will realize that when I broke your heart, I was actually opening the door to a better world for you. I hope that someday you will find the girl you've been looking for, the one who will make you feel the love you felt for me, if not even more.

To M, thank you for opening the world of love to me when I felt I was not ready. You were my high school sweetheart and you will always be. You were my first heartbreak as well and it took me over two years just to get over you. I still think of you from time to time, wondering if you are happy with her, hoping that you are because I still care for you. I know you don't know this but my heart broke when you sent me that last text, 7 years after we broke up. I knew that it was the last time I would hear from you and 3 years later, you've never made your presence felt. You will always have a special place in my heart.

To J, you saved me from obsessing over M. Getting to you though was an arduous trip. I had to break someone's heart and a lifetime friendship. I am sorry about that. I was vindictive and petty. I think I still am but I'm learning to control it. Thank you for showing me that I am worthy of loving and fighting for. Thank you for accepting me at my lowest moments in life. Thank you for proving to me that some good things never last. I've learned that lesson the hard way but it has made me a stronger person as well.

To R, you were the perfect guy, the one guy every girl dreams of having. Romantic, sweet,real, funny, thoughtful, educated, loyal, faithful, and puts the relationship first before anything. Unfortunately, we were just two different creatures with too different tastes. One of us had to change 360 degrees just to be with the other. I couldn't let you live that lie your whole life. I knew you were willing but it was unfair to you. So I had to let you go.

To all three of you, you have shaped me to be the woman that I am now. you have in your own ways made me who I am as a person. For that, I am forever grateful. For the tears that I've shed for you, some of it was worth all the pain while some were not. But every single tear I've shed has made me stronger and better.

I hope that you can say the same thing for me but I know that in your own ways, you will never be able to forgve me for hurting you. I'm sorry. I hope that you can let go of the pain so that you will have room for love, for that one woman who will change everything.Till then, someday ... I hope someone will love you the way you wanted me to love you.

2 Comments:
Heart of Rachel said...
I've had my share of heartaches too. I have learned from the pain and somehow I have become a better person ... I would like to believe so.
at 3:47 PM

LauraJ said...
how sweet was this? You are a treasure to behold my dear!
at 10:27 PM
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