Dear Future Boyfriend

Hi,

First of all, I can't believe that I am even writing something like this. I have long given up on finding someone and to even entertain the idea of having a future boyfriend was definitely not high on my list. However, it seems that fate has something stored for me and so I thought, if I really were to have a future boyfriend, he needs to know a few things about me.

Or a lot.

So here is the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good. I am fiercely loyal. Cheating will never be an option so if we become a couple, you never have to worry about my faithfulness and loyalty. I will also take care of you and make sure that you are well fed and loved.

I love giving gifts to people I love. As long as it's not irrational, if I can make something happen, I will. I will make time for you amidst my busy schedule.

Everyone I know will know that we are together because I will be proud of you and our relationship. It will not be something that I will hide.

I will do my best to understand and sort every fight we have. I will not give up on you as long as I see that you are not giving up on us.

The Bad. I have questions and I will ask it randomly. I laugh out loud at inappropriate times, sometimes, in the middle of a huge fight. I dance and sing at random and yes, I get hungry a lot. My family is also pretty crazy as well as my friends but if they love you, they will be there for us no matter what.

I cry for absolutely no reason especially when I am about to have my period. I can't help it. The hormones get the better of me and I also resort to senseless arguments. Again, just give me a big tight hug as well as boxes of mint chocolate.

The Ugly. I have trust issues. You will need to reassure me and make me feel confident about you, about us, and about things. I will do my best to stop the doubts but I will need your help as well.

I get mad easily. I know that I need to control my temper and so I will do my best to tell you what easily ticks me off. Please help me out with this one.

I step back if I feel that I don't matter. I shut down and put up walls. You need to ensure this does not happen and if it does, you need to remind me why I shouldn't. Do not ignore me or avoid me because absence does not make me forget the fight. It makes me forget the person and get even more closed off.

Also, here's a list of things that I wanted in a boyfriend that I wrote before but have amended now that I am 37.

What I need from Mr. Right 

1. He needs to make me smile. I have a resting b!+(h face so making me smile is quite important. Also, with the many negatives in the world, wouldn't it be nice to have someone who constantly makes you happy. In return, I will also do the same for him. You know I can be pretty funny when I want to be.

2. He needs to accept my family and my son. This is a no brainer and a deal breaker.

3. He needs to be a little showy. I seek validation and I am very touchy and showy so if Mr. Right isn't, it might be awkward. I don't want someone who does extreme PDA but the Kdrama backhugs, holding hands, and chaste kisses in public would be pretty awesome.

4. He needs to have a life but I need to have a part in it. This means that he should be able to go on and live his life with his family and friends but at the same time, not completely forget me to the point where I wonder if I a simply an option.

5. He needs to have dreams because I have so many dreams of my own. I will be there to cheer him on and support him but he also must be ready to do the same thing with me.

6. Lastly, I need someone who puts me first over his pride. If he misses me, he will let me know. If we fight, he will choose to fix us rather than be right. If he wants to see me, he will make a way for it to happen. He needs to show me how much I really mean to him because I will do the same thing.

It's true that I yearn for the little surprise gift or bouquet of gerberas and stargazers  but more than anything, I just want Mr. Right to treasure me and show me how much I really matter. I don't dream of someone who looks like my Kdrama idols but I do want someone who will make me feel like one of the leads in a Kdrama ... loved, treasured, and someone worth fighting for.