#August2PaRinKita

Last week met me with surprising news.  Not only was I chosen as a Spotify Influencer but I was also chosen as the face of a new aesthetic clinic. To say that it bowled me over would be an understatement. I mentioned this not to brag but because one of those surprises led me to #August2PaRinKita.

Spotify is rolling off with a new campaign that will last one day and its aptly named #August2PaRinKita (I still want you; its a play on August 2 since if you speak it in Tagalog, it means I still want you. - - for my English speaking readers.) Anyway, I never realized that perhaps  I do still want someone someone even after all this time until I started watching this Korean drama and all the feelings came back.

Perhaps its just the Kdrama or maybe, its the feelings I've hidden and buried that is just coming back to life. I just find it so ironic that a campaign that I am helping Spotify with would hit so close to home. I mean, I've moved on, that I am sure of but I've also realized that even when you moved on, it doesn't mean that you no longer have feelings for that person. It just means that you have accepted the situation and have come to terms with it. You are at peace with what happened which was something that I couldn't accept before.

I hesitated writing about it. Perhaps I got used to him reading everything I write but I realized, I don't even know if he still does and if he does, do I really care? I think we've both moved on. Last I know, he was happily in a relationship with someone and as for me, I've accepted my lot in life.

It's been a year since I have been out with anyone. It's been a year since I have even met anyone. I've been doing really well with just focusing on my work, my family, my friends, and myself. When a guy even attempts to talk to me or say hi and I know that there's even a small interest, I just completely block the person. I just can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it because I don't know if it will lead to something good or bad and I can't ... I just can't risk it anymore.

I used to have so much love to give ... and now, I no longer do. I no longer want to. I can't. The thought of it alone makes me curl up in fear of the pain that I could go through again. Sometimes I wonder to myself, what would I do if he and I bump into each other and I find myself praying like crazy that it never happen.

He used to tell me about serendipity and that we never know what's in store for us and I used to want that to happen to us. I used to wonder what if 5 years from now, he and I get a second chance? Wouldn't it be amazing? Now, I pray that he's madly in love with that girl and that he and I would never ever cross paths again.

#August2PaRinKita but I also know that you are not good for my heart and right now, I matter more than my feelings for you. I'm glad that you finally let me go and that our last conversation was you wishing me Happy Birthday and that the last time we saw each other, you treated me really badly emotionally. You made me feel like I was something you used then discarded. It finally broke the rose colored glasses I had for 2 years after we broke up. When you discarded me like trash, I realized that to you I may be worthless but to me, to my family, to my son, to the people who still love me and accept me, I am priceless.

#August2PaRinKita but I know better now and I know that I deserve someone who would also tell me and make me feel #August2PaRinNyaAko.

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21 comments:

  1. It can be so hard to move on, can't it? I hope you'll find complete peace soon and want to find someone new. You deserve to be loved!

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  2. This post is beautiful and inspiring. It was really nice reading this.

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  3. That is so good for you! Congrats! These are great news!

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  4. My oldest son was dumped by his fiance right before the wedding. This is so much like what he is going through.

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  5. Congrats on the Influencer with Spotify!! It is hard to move on sometimes but everyone deserves to have someone just sucks how many not right choices we seem to go through.

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  6. It can be tough dealing with relationships. It's good that you have moved on and realize that you are priceless to your family & friends.

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  7. Life is just like that, people will come and go no matter how much time you spent together or what you went through. When things no longer work, they just go. It may be the drama speaking, but it can also mean that you still want to have someone with you. For now, I just wish you the best and I hope someday the right man will come and take care of you.

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  8. Congratulations on being chosen as an endorser! You're really pretty so there's no doubt as to why they chose you. I'm sure you'll find the right kind of love someday!

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  9. So happy you have moved on. Getting over someone can be soo hard, even a year later.

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  10. I'm so glad that you move on, You deserve someone new special than before :)

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  11. Wow, congrats on your achievement. Moving on is really hard, I am glad to hear that you are okay.

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  12. People come and go and sometimes it hurts really bad. I had given up as well but today I am celebrating 13 years with the most wonderful man, husband, and father. You never know what might come up. Just keep holding your head high.

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  13. Congratulations on being chosen as a Spotify influencer that is incredible. Hope you will find love in time x

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  14. There is no doubt about it relationships can be messy. So happy to see you have moved on. Everyone deserves happiness.

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  15. It is wonderful that you are moving forward with work. As for love, you will find the one someday!

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  16. I understand your feelings. I think that sometimes we find that life is much better by ourselves than it is trying to please someone else. If you are fine alone, then I say stay alone. There's no need to put yourself through any unnecessary stress.

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  17. It is nice when the rose colored glasses come off, I agree. Been there, lived that.

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  18. Ahhhh relationships sure can be tricky!!!! But in the bright side it sounds like you're killing it! Being a Spotify influencer is pretty cool

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  19. Beautiful post. And congrats on being chosen as the new face!

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  20. This post was very inspiring. Loved reading it! Congrats!

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  21. Congratulations on both your deals. This is such a good thing for any blogger. All the best going forward

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