knight in shining armor no more ...

Weird title to put on my blog right? Some of you may even think that I'm being sarcastic but I'm not. I really am happy for FM. Today, I chanced upon his cover photo on Facebook and it showed him and a woman who was making faces while he gazed at her fondly and I just knew that she's his girl.

Did I feel sad? For a moment, there was a tinge of pain that he has fully replaced me but then it was instantly replaced with happiness for him. FM is not perfect. He had his bad moments with me after we broke up where he inadvertently led me on and hurt me over and over again but he is a good person overall and he deserves a happy ending.

For almost 4 years, he was my knight in shining armor. Every single time that I really needed someone, he would come running. He always made sure that I was okay and that I have what I need to move forward with life. If I call, regardless of the time of day, he would answer. He would listen to me rant and rave, cry, weep, and he would always be there to help me pick up the broken pieces that is me.

I've learned to rely on him. I'm gonna admit that. I guess in my head, since he did not turn out to be Prince Charming and he's so good at saving me, he's just gonna be my knight. MY KNIGHT.

It's wrong.

FM and I, we have been over for 2.5 years and yet we talk, we hang out, and we are inexplicably drawn to each other. Like what he said, we click but it's just not gonna happen between us anymore. There will never be an US again but we click. We fit each other like yin and yang or two harlequin dolls that is part of a set.

Today IT STOPS. Today, he stops being my knight in shining armor and he stops saving me. He finally met someone and care enough for this person to make her public. I want him to make this work and I know that if I should still exist in his life, that won't happen.

So to you FM, should you happen to read this, here's what I would like to say to you.

Thank you. Thank you for loving me and loving my family. Thank you for dealing with my craziness and quirks. Thank you for trying your best to forgive me and I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me. Thank you for saving me over and over and over again. I cannot count the number of times that you have been there for me. Thank you for making me believe in love again, hurting me so much that I had to step back and reassess who I was and what I needed to change within me thus making me a better person, and for being there throughout the entire process.

Thank you but I think its time that you stop saving me. I need to learn how to save myself and be my own knight in shining armor.

our last photo together


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20 comments:

  1. You're right, time to learn how to take care of yourself. A very important lesson for all women.

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  2. It's always hard getting over a breakup but you're being very strong and deserve your own knight to treat you right! Keep moving forward :)

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  3. Sometimes a bad relationship can be a stepping stone for something better. In the meantime, taking care of yourself and being strong is what you might need ... ~ Karlyn Cruz

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  4. My mom always told me to take care of myself. Never depend on a man. Still, I believe that the right guy is out there!

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  5. What an wonderful way to empower yourself to let go and move forward. As much as they two of you are soul mates you were holding each other back and now you can find your own inner strength and light again! Soul mates are magical but not always meant to be our FOREVER mate. I know you two had to of learned a lot from one another and that is what true soul mates are about. Much love to you and welcome to the next exciting chapter of your journey!

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  6. The worst experiences have a strange way of bringing us to the best learnings.

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  7. everything happens for a reason! Just believe in good things

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  8. That is so sweet! I love that you're happy for him!

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  9. Very well said. A beautiful piece about moving on and letting go. Good job to you for realizing all of this. And don't forget that only we can save ourselves.

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  10. Girl power indeed! The modern woman are independent and should be the ones sought after instead of the other way around! Time heals all wounds.. hang in there.

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  11. I agree with the other comments. So important for women to know how to take care of themselves and not rely on a man. Good for you for taking this step!

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  12. It is interesting sometimes what it takes to become who we are supposed to be. You will do great taking care of yourself.

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  13. You are a strong person and I'm sure you'll get over this soon. Yup, it's time to learn how to take care of yourself.

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  14. I'm happy that you've realized it's time to let go and move on. You can definitely save yourself .

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  15. Ahhhhhhh it's so important to take care of yourself! I think you really can't be in a healthy relationship until you can. I learned the hard way ;-)

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  16. I'm sure it's a hard thing to let that go, but it's probably the only real way for both of you to move on.

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  17. You are your own knight. Don't let anyone take your power away. Love and companionship are wonderful, but you don't need to be saved by a knight.

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  18. So important to take care of yourself! So happy for you that you've decided to let go :)

    xoxo Bree
    http://bree-west.com

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  19. Totally agree with everyone on the comment and everything happens for a reason. Thanks for sharing.

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