the perfect me

Every girl has dream of being with Mr. Perfect. When I was young, I remember saying that I wanted to meet Mr. Perfect and I knew that if I did, we'd have a perfect life and everything would be perfect. Or so I thought.

I've been watching Sex and the City recently and something Carrie said about dating Mr. Big got to me. You see, I had a Mr. Big in my life before. He was gorgeous, tall, had his own business, and was very smart. He was PERFECT.

Unfortunately, I wasn't.

I was your typical girl. I laugh too much, at times too loudly. I trip. I had no poise. I made mistakes. He didn't. He was just always perfect.

It was disgruntling.

I felt like I was never good enough for him. I ate too much, I ate too little, I laughed too much or not at all. I just didn't know how to be me anymore with him. I felt like I had to be on my toes all the time. If you have ever heard the phrase "walking on eggshells," that was what I did for the 4 months that I dated this guy.

Eventually I realized that dating Mr. Perfect was not for me. It's not for any girl. We need to be with someone who can see our flaws and accept it as it is. Yes, they can help us improve and be better but they need to accept that we have flaws.

I needed someone whom I can be myself with. I needed someone who was okay that I laugh like crazy when I find something funny. I needed someone who was okay with me crying over sappy commercials or movies. I needed someone who was okay having his hand grabbed and squeezed to death when we watch a horror movie. I needed someone who can be okay that sometimes I go crazy. I couldn't be perfect all the time. Heck, I just wasn't perfect and I had to accept that I need to find someone who was okay with it.

When I broke up with him, it wasn't so perfect though. He got all kinds of cuckoo and started stalking me. I guess there is no perfect guy in reality so it was okay that there was no perfect me.

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