when the stars won't shine anymore ...

I was in high school, wearing my volleyball practice uniform because I just got off practice and I was still sweating from all the drills when MU came up and sat beside me. He was just a classmate back then who was still trying to win my heart.

I was 15. I didn't know he was going to be an important part of my life.

He sang this song to me.

"Tomorrow morning if you wake up and the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love, hold my hand, and have no fear,
coz I will be here."

Looking back, I didn't know that he was pledging his love to me. This is a love that I turned my back on after 19 months of being together and a love that continued to make its presence felt for the next 7 years from the time I said it was over.

He was just constantly around. He would pop up from time to time and most especially when I needed someone and no one was there. He would pop up at my place in the middle of the night and I'd hear a whisper through my window or a text from him saying he was out in the hallway.

Sometimes, I welcomed the sight of him and other times, I cringe because I knew it was wrong.  He and I, we were wrong because he belonged to someone and there were moments that I belonged to someone else as well.

He was my first love, my first heartache. He was also the first to string me along like a yoyo until all my emotions have become exhausted and I learned to never let anyone in too deep.

He said that when the stars won't shine anymore .. he'd still be here. It seems that this is just the first of the many promises that would be broken just like the words inscribed here, "MK FOREVER." It seems nothing really lasts forever.

1996

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