I saw him today. I saw the funny man and for the first time since things fell apart, I was able to control my emotions and control my actions. Yes, I took deep breaths and psyched myself for it but I was just happy that I did not fall apart nor took matters into my own hands.
He was quite sweet today. Surprisingly so. I was honestly caught off guard but of course I cherished the moment. The kiss on the cheek, the hug, the photo he took of us, and the way he held my hand in the cinema ... I cherished every single moment.
I did not show it. To show it would have been to be vulnerable again and to possibly shed tears which at that point would have been a big no no. Deep inside, I was all girlish giggles and silent screams. On the outside, I was cool as a cucumber. Later on, I allowed the tears to fall but not in front of him.
He said that was probably it and that he would definitely miss me. OUCH! I told him that he knew what my stand was. He knew that I wanted him back and that I was just waiting. The ball is now in his hands. Whether our story continues or ends is now up to him. Whether the funny man will make me laugh again is now entirely up to him ... after all, as he said, it is he who has control as to whether or not we'd get back together. As for me, I am just here. He knows where I live and he knows where I can be found.
Till then ... its a wrap for the funny man.
I saw him today. I saw the funny man and for the first time since things fell apart, I was able to control my emotions and control my action...