dear love ...

I loathe you.

Yes, you read that right. I loathe you. I loathe you with a passion equal to none. You have brought me nothing but tears. Well, fine, you brought me happiness initially but why is it that whenever you visit me, it always ends in tears.

Can I not just have my happy ending? Is what I am looking for so hard to give? I just want my prince, that one person I can count on no matter what. I just want that one person who will always be there to hold my hand, be it when I'm wearing a shimmering evening gown, puking my guts out in a toilet seat, or when I'm in a ratty shirt crying my heart out because we just had a big fight over something senseless.

What matters is that HE is there HOLDING MY HAND and not walking away from me.

Is that so hard to do love? Seriously???

I despise you.

Yes, you read that right. I despise you. I despise you so much that even a semblance or hint of you and I cut down the person into smithereens. I trample upon any hopes that some guy may have about dating me. I chop their ego into tiny little pieces, leaving them to believe that I am some miserable bitch that they need to stay away from. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I'm just not willing to trust my heart to someone again. Perhaps its too soon.

I wouldn't know. I don't care enough to know. What I do know is that I am happy with my family, friends, and work. Right now, this is all that I need.

So yes love .. stay away from me. Stay away from me and do not bother me. I really, really hate you right now. I don't want anything to do with you and if you do not visit me in this lifetime again, it would be too soon.

Stay away from me love because if you don't, I will maim, trample, and kick you the same way you did to my heart. I promise love. I will do that.

So please, stay away from me. I don't think my heart could take another beating. It still hasn't recovered yet. Go bother someone else. Please.

I loathe you. I despise you. I hate you. 



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