It's been 25 years ...

When I first saw the two of you, I did not like you. You see, I felt like I was an only child then suddenly, there were 2 new additions and everyone just kept fussing over you. I hated the fact that the attention was taken away from me by 2 wriggling things.

However, when everyone was asleep and the two of you were fast asleep as well, I would sometimes look at you both and just feel amazement that you were my little brothers. I didn't know what being an older sister meant back then coz I was only 7 but I knew that it was something important.

When we were growing up, I saw you two as pests. You were my pesky little brothers that I had to endure. I was a teenager and you were mere boys. You made life a bit noisier and bothersome. Of course, I loved you but I would have died than admitted I loved you when I was a teenager.

I became an adult and because of a wrong decision, we were separated for a time. However, when my life fell apart, you were both there and though I know that you did not approve of my decisions or choices, you were still there.

I was there too when your hearts were broken by some ruthless women. I was there to hug you and console you when you were hurting. I felt anger, extreme anger at how these girls could be so callous and break your heart just like that. I thought they were evil and if I could have slapped them or made them suffer the way they made you suffer but not go to jail for it,  I would have done it. You were my brothers. I didn't want you hurting and seeing you in tears simply broke my heart.

Times have changed though. We no longer talk. We no longer hang out. We no longer ask how the other is. It seems like from being siblings we are now strangers. Perhaps you don't like some of the things I did, decisions I made or words I said. Perhaps you don't respect me anymore. Perhaps this, perhaps that. I wouldn't really know. We don't talk anymore.

Someone recently reminded me that I said at one time, "You don't turn your back on family even when they do." I stand by this. However, until such time you need me, I think I'm gonna go take a step back. You are family but I am also human. I hurt. Right now, I got my quota of hurt. It's only June but I have had my fair share of hurt for 2013 and I think I need to cover this lid so that I won't hurt anymore. As my best friend said, enough.

So I wish you happiness, success, good health, and peace of mind ... should you need me again, you know where to find me. Happy 25th birthday twins. I will always love you even when you don't seem to love me back. That's what family is ... that's what real love is.

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