Raising B, Raising Me ...

I've been spending time with B lately and we've been having random conversations. It got to a point that I realized that some of the words of wisdom that I impart to him are actually lessons that I also needed to learn.

Just this morning B came up to me and said that K grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. He was near tears because it hurt. He was also upset because K did not apologize. I pondered for a minute and told B, "Sometimes, there will be people who will hurt us and they won't say sorry. It could be because they did not realize they have hurt us or if they did, they do not care. We need to forgive them still. We need to do this for ourselves, not for them. If they eventually apologize or not, at least, we have already forgiven them and moved on."

Lesson # 1 I realized that this was something that I need to also apply to myself. It wasn't something that I could just tell B and expect him to do. I had to live by this creed. Used to be, I would demand an apology. It really mattered to me to hear the words "Sorry." Now, I've realized that even if a person says he is sorry, but the actions don't show it, it won't matter. Sorry is worthless if not followed through with actions. However, actions that show one is contrite bears more weight than a mere sorry.

Lesson # 2 came in the form of B yelling at a friend of his because the friend wouldn't follow him. I realized that he got it from me and that it was simply wrong. Now, I don't scream at B anymore or yell at him. I explain things and I tell him why its not allowed or get him to realize why its a no. When I feel frustrated, I count to 10 and back if need be.

Lesson # 3 was in the form of simply accepting things as they are. We were discussing something and I asked him if he thought the situation was what it really was. He answered, "Yes." It was so simple, so matter of fact that I realized, if a kid can understand things just like that, why can't I accept situations to be just like that? So from now on, I will stop analyzing and over analyzing things. If things happen, it will. If not, then it won't.

Lesson # 4 If you count the hours by the minutes, you're gonna have a pretty long day. This is whats been happening to me the past 2 weeks. The days have been dragging by because I was counting the minutes. Do something you enjoy doing then you'll see, its the end of another day and tomorrow will be the beginning of something new.

So there ... it seems that while I was raising B, I was also raising me. :) 

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19 comments:

  1. What a lovely post. It's amazing how much we can still learn and grow everyday. Even as adults!

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  2. I love these conversations you have with B. These will go a long way with him.

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  3. I think people are too quick to say sorry a lot of time, so often times it's meaningless.

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  4. Lesson #4 is me everytime. I don't want to do that, but it is so hard.

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  5. I know all moms could relate to this!

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  6. Amazing lessons right there that we could all apply in life! I think one of the best things about being a parent is that you also learn as you go along. This proves it!

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  7. It is hard to raise a kid but the good part is you too can learn life's lessons. This is nice.

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  8. I bet all moms will relate in this. I love the #1 perfect to me,

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  9. Kids do have a way of teaching us, don't they? I think I've learned some of my best lessons through being a parent.

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  10. Great lessons of life! It's amazing what our kids can teach us!

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  11. You know what, I've learned lately that some of my children's actions toward each other have inadcertantly been learned through me..through my impatience with situations with them them. Its hard to see that there's something you have to change about yourselve, and even harder when you have to look at your child and say I'm sorry, I was wrong, do not lead by my example. I love taht you are seeing these lessons and able to learn from your child. Any of us that are tuned in with our kids will recognize the things in ourselves that need to also change to bring them up better. Loved your post

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  12. I am so glad to know that you are also learning from your kid, so as I am. I think it is part of parenthood.

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  13. I love how you pull deeper lessons out of everyday occurrences with your kids. It's such an interesting outlook :)

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  14. Beautiful lessons, I can totally relate. Nothing has changed me and my perceptions more than having a child. As we try to teach them to be better, they change us to be better as well.

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  15. I love the lesson number 4 and I bet every moms would relate

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  16. Many mom's would relate this for sure

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  17. love this post it is so awesome that you can spend time and share life with B I try to share life with my own children as well now with my grand-children. They know that sorry is not always going to cut it. An accident you can be sorry for but if it is something you thought about and did it a sorry is not going to fix the problem

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  18. Kids have a way to make us so much better humans. They are so pure.

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  19. Nice realizations you have there. Children mimic adults. When we shout, they will as well. When we hug and so they will do, too. It is safe to be careful of our actions.

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