I was single for almost 2 years. In that 2 years of not being with anyone, not having someone to call mine, not having someone permanent to talk to, laugh with, cry with, and be with, I got used to the fleeting moments with different boys. I got used to seeing someone for a month or so and moving on to the next guy the next month.
I was coveted ... but I was never wanted.
They would date me ... give me flowers ... spin me around town ... but to a certain extent only. I was that girl they would parade around town, the one they'd show off at times, the one they would talk to till the wee hours of the morning, and the one they would tell their problems to.
I was not the girl they could commit to. I just wasn't. Either they couldn't ... or they weren't ready to be in a relationship.
It hurt but I never let anyone see that. What they saw was someone who was enjoying dating around and fleeting like a butterfly in a garden full of roses ... or thorns.
Then he came along and I got scared. I got scared because ...
He wanted me. He really wanted me. He wanted me in his life, a part of his life, and a part of the world he lives in. He wanted me there, front row and center. He didn't want me on the sidelines. He didn't want me after hours when no one is looking. He wanted me there with him, for all the world to see.
He didn't mind that I blog him. He posted on his facebook that we were together. He introduced me to his family and friends. He wanted me. He was proud of me, OF US.
A few months ago, I posted this on my wall.
|I wrote: "then I muse be very careful in getting my 6th since I plan to make him my last|
I completely forgot about this until FM liked the photo and pointed it out to me. He was my 6th. And so, today, I edited this to make it more fitting.
We talked one time about what could make us fight badly. We couldn't think of one. You see ... we like the same things and have the same thoughts about how relationships should be. I know its too early but I just have a good feeling about this.
I know that my 6th is my last because he will be with me until the day we die.