we could have had it all ...

"The scars of your love remind me of us as they keep me thinking, we could have had it all."

I was talking to a friend last night who picked me up and took me home because he knew I needed to talk ... just talk about what was on my mind and this was one of those things that I talked about. I have that habit you see. When I'm agitated and have too many things on my mind, I tend to rant and ramble and this is one of those things I rambled about.

These are some of the love stories that ended before it even started; the ones that are worth remembering anyway.

C ... he was the music man ... we dated for 2 months and on the day before he was leaving for the US, he told me he loved me. He said he was in love with me. Thing is, he was going to be in the US for 3 months and I just didn't believe  in long distance relationships. I told him that if  his feelings for me are real, then he would make a way to communicate with me while he was in the US. This was the time that the internet was just starting to take off. 2 months passed and I heard nothing. I started dating others and he came back. He said that he wasn't able to send me anything because of this and that.

He was someone I connected with musically. He was a tortured soul and I wanted to take care of him. Unfortunately, that story ended before it could really begin.

JN ... he's an actor now. I met him at a workshop and we hit it off. He said he had a crush on me on the first day of the workshop and when we were partnered for the Love Exercises (one had to pose as if they were lovers) he had butterflies in his stomach.

We hanged out the entire summer and I was unaware that he was falling for me. He was supposed to ask my Mom for permission to court me (I was 17, he was 20 something) but apparently, my Mom got to him first and told him that she trusts him because he is like an older brother to me.

And with that ... our story ended before it could even begin.

It both ended before it even began.