random rants of a tired "super" mom

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask ... I wear a thousand masks -- - masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me.

Lately, I've been hearing people tell me that I'm such a super mom because I am doing this and that for my kid. I felt good about it but at the same time, I am pressured. Seriously, I may look like I know what I am doing but I don't. I really don't.

I take things one day at a time. I do trial and error and sadly, when its an error, my kid suffers and so do I. Unfortunately, all the manuals in the world on how to be a great Mom does not really work because every kid is special and needs a Mom that is fitted for their needs. It's not like they come out from a mold that says "super intelligent but slightly emo kid" or "sporty and hates veggie kid" mold.

Kids have their own personalities and mine is the smartass, super sweet, and will most likely give me white hair by the time I'm 40 kid. He's so smart that it scares me sometimes. He's really sweet when he wants to be that I need to harden myself just so he knows who is boss and simply because I'm Mom and Dad to him. I need to be stern yet tender. Talk about an oxymoron.

I just wish there was a genie out there and he can grant me one wish. I would not wish for money or beauty (I already have that hahaha.) I would wish for wisdom to know what my son needs to grow up as a wonderful creature who will touch the lives of many and be a blessing to everyone he meets. This is all that I need.

This is what this Mom needs.