all boxed up ...

dear you,

I think you know who you are. If not, then you're not as smart as you thought you were or not  as smart as I thought you were. So yes, you know who you are.

The last time we spoke, you told me that you have placed your feelings for me and any thought of us in Pandora's Box and it can't be opened until the time is right because if its opened now, it could be a disaster. Now, I am doing the same.

I'm not sure if you just ignored my text or you did not get it but I told you last night that I am giving you what you need for now. I am placing you in a box as well and putting you on the attic. When you realize that you want me back in your life, you know where to find me and how to reach me. I'm going to be on that shelf where you placed me as well.

You are right. I am very faithful and when I love, I love. This is the first and hopefully, won't be really unrequited love for me. I know you have feelings for me. Dare I say that you are in love with me as well ... but its really just the wrong time. We met too early, too soon.

I have stuff to fix and you also have stuff to fix. When these things are fixed, I know that we'll get back together. I know this because in the 3 months we knew each other, you have never lied to me and so I believe you when you say that you will come after me when things are good and okay because you want me to be the one holding your hand and you want to be the one whose hand I will be holding in the future.

So for now, KitKat needs to take a break ... from each other. It's going to be temporary and we just need focus on each other's lives. I'm still going to be here for you. I just won't be around so much, the same way you aren't.

I need to step back as well. As much as I likened my love for you to that of the ocean kissing the shoreline endlessly no matter how many times it gets sent away, my Mom reminded me yesterday that I am not the ocean and that if I continue to kiss the shorelines, I will crumble. I can't crumble again. Remember? I told you that I can't break again. And I am breaking.

I need to step back. I'm not saying goodbye; that's not me. I am just saying ... till then. When time comes that we are both ready, I'll be here. As I told you, "I will wait for you, until there is no more reason to wait." 

Till then ... I am putting all my feelings for you in a box and I will live my life the way I should ... without you in it ... for now.

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