munimuni # 51

It's been a while since I did my last weekend reflection. I vow to do this more often, if not weekly. It's always good to step back and just check how the week went by. So here goes ... it may not be a weekend reflection but more of a 6 month reflection or a gist of it anyway.

Today, someone I've learned to trust and care for (yes, I will be honest enough to admit that I did care for that idiot) turned his back on me. Does it hurt? Yes of course. Will I cry? I don't think so. It does hurt. I considered him a friend and whenever a friend turns his back on you, it will hurt ... even just a little tinge.

He's courted me for the last 6 months or so and I've been honest with him that though I care about him and though I may have some feelings, I was not in love nor was I ready to be in love or in a relationship. I just wasn't. I couldn't force myself and I found myself having fun being on my own and more at peace just being not in a relationship.

I should have seen this coming though. Fights were happening more often, the few measly conversations we had is now almost nil ... and to be honest, I have been thinking that its better for me to be on my own ... not have someone that I could rely on.

What happened today has helped reinforced that I am better off on my own. I've become a stronger woman, more independent, and more able to handle things on my own. Having someone to talk to is nice but if there is no one there, I won't go to pieces unlike before. What happened today reinforced that nagging feeling I had that there was something wrong. He was just too good to be true.

The last 6 months, I have worked on being a better me. Now, its time I work on being a better Mommy. I can do this now since I've finally found me, loved me, and known me.

Besides, this little angel deserves a Mom who is 100% invested in him and his future. Don't you think so?

* photo taken yesterday just after we woke up. LOL.

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