This week started on a good note for me. I thought that things were okay and that things were doing really well. I was happy. Apparently, the saying ignorance is bliss was so applicable to me.
Thursday this week, my 20 month relationship finally ended. No, it did not end on a good note for there were a lot of pain inflicted and betrayal. Did I cry? Of course. Did I hurt, yes. Did I learn? DEFINITELY.
I have been wondering the past 2 days as to why I am not on the ground, crawling and miserable. I really thought I would be. I loved him, too much ... with all my heart. But I am okay ... I am moving on. FOR REAL.
A friend told me, its because you no longer have any what if's. You can go to sleep at night knowing that you did everything to save it, and that it was not your fault it broke down. She was right. I do not have any what if's. I know I did everything.
So I can say, this week, I have been blessed. I got out of something that was merely a creation of my mind. I thought it was pure love; that I have met the half to my whole. He wasn't. He was merely someone who would make me realize that a princess should never go around kissing frogs. I should just focus on me, and love me, and the people who really love me and appreciate me.
I am not angry at him. I am not bitter. I am not mad. I do not resent him. I have given all my pain, anger, hatred, heartache to God. God knows everything. He knows what is in my heart.
And so, I'm letting go of what is not worth holding on and I am holding on to my God. He will never forsake me nor hurt me. He is my true love.