The last 10 days had been intolerable for me. I've realized so many skewed things about me in handling relationships that I felt like I wanted to get an extra arm so that I could slap myself silly for being so darn stupid.
My Mom was right again. I was so selfish that I kept focusing on myself and that I forgot that other people are hurting too. She told me that she's not mad at J and that she does understand his need for space and while he's having his space, I should fix myself too. She and J were both right.
This past few days, I have realized:
- that J loves me so much but he is also human
- that I've hurt J so much
- that J and I will work things out in the end because we love each other
- that I need to learn the value of "patience"
- that I need to let go of all insecurities because I am worth loving and J is a totally different guy ...
- that I need to love me and not rely on someone else to make me feel good about myself
- that everything can be fixed if love prevails and a cool mind
With faith, my belief in God strengthens and with it comes hope and unconditional love. Thank you Lord.